Sunday, November 05, 2006

hmmm hi. it's weekend again.

last week was quite a bad week for me... i believe i am being placed in situations when I am super uncomfortable in. oh well... i feel threatened with regards to my usefulness in the marketplace... dunno leh... it's like... there is a problem... you try to solve the problem.. but the problem gets worse because you intervened... or... there is a problem... you try to solve the problem... you solved it... but you could have done it quicker...

felt kinda useless... esp in the army... they expect a lot from specialists like me... and it seems that i cannot perform the role as a leader of my men... i cant even make it in my basic skills. how can my men look up to me? hais. there is one guy who was kinda pissed cos' i did some stuff wrongly the other day...and he's "under me" so to speak... but he seem to challenge me verbally on my little authority that i dun think i have.... hais.. maybe i shouldnt even say that i want to be a specialist when i was in bmt bah... maybe i am a born-follower... not a born-leader.

i really cant have the courage to face people anymore. i feel intimidated everytime someone asks me to lead a few people... honestly, i don't think i m up to it.. dont have the skills of a leader. when i speak, people have to ask me to "beg your pardon" cos' i m too soft-spoken (literally). i dun even think people think i m up to it.



---


tim.
Posted by Timo-mo at 11:53 AM