Monday, December 11, 2006

"your life has been paid for..." - Daniel Ngui
(Secondary School schoolmate, SI Bunk-mate, 3 Sig Command Comms bunk-mate, a friend)

am finally back from 3 weeks of exercise wallaby in australia. whew... 3 weeks sure did pass very quickly. finally i m back. touched down yesterday night at 2225hrs, earlier than the estimated touch-down timing. things went very smoothly for me... and i just want to take this opportunity to thank all those who have prayed for me, encouraged me, tagged on my blog, and most of all, stood by me during these 3 weeks. i really have felt your prayers and i really thank God that you guys were with me. though i went through 3 weeks of spiritual highs and really DEEP valleys (which i will write about later... ), i felt that these three weeks was an awesome time to experience creation, and hunger after God more.


the night i fell... 6th december 2006

well, 6th december was our battalion celebration night in camp. we ate and feasted and had great fun. lotsa beer was provided and lotsa meat were served. that's when i got carried away. i opened my first can of beer of the night (for your info, i drink before... haha . so no major issue yet...) ... to be honest... the beer does not taste good at all. maybe i was really thirsty, and there was no other available drink, so i took my first can and gulped it down my throat. then i started eating the meat that were served... crocodile meat, kangaroo meat... woohoo... taste like chicken. haha. i know it sounds cruel.. but oh well.. couldnt care less at that moment... but anyway... while eating... i continued drinking.... finished my 2nd can... 3rd can... 4th can... 5th can... 6th can... .... ... ...

... i cannot remember how many cans i drank... some said i drank 8... but i know that i cannot control myself anymore. some recalled trying to remove my can of beer after knowing that i looked weird, but i forcefully retrieved that can and continued drinking. some recalled that i kept laughing non-stop. my sergeant major had to tell me to stop , and surprisingly i obeyed his orders despite the fact that i grumbled that i wanted another can... some recalled that i cannot walk my way back to my tentage... which was true...

my sergeant major then asked daniel ngui to escort me back to my tent and make sure that i go and sleep. he was afraid that i might do anything stupid when i m drunk. cos' the previous night someone else drank too much and ended up scolding his immediate superior... in the end that poor chap was charged . anyway... daniel held my arm and walked me back... i remembered telling him that i dont need anyone to carry me back... but he persisted and insisted that he was to walk me back... that's when i started to realise.. that maybe i am drunk... but who cares? i denied that fact and continue saying that i m not drunk...

daniel: never mind... i walk you back....

me: ...

daniel: you shouldn't drink so much...

me: aiyah... i don't know... maybe i m doing something really stupid... i m so stupid... hai... (walking our way back to the tentage...)

daniel: don't say that... don't drink so much... it's not worth your life... your health... your life has been paid for...




Your life has been paid for... these words resounded in my sub-conscious mind... a sense of remorse plunged into my inmost soul... wat have i done...? my life... has been paid by the precious blood of Jesus Christ... Jesus died for my sins... and i m destroying it with a few cans of alcohol....

i kept quiet. or rather... i don't even know what i did... i pretended that i didn't hear what daniel said... but those words kept ringing in me... i wanted to break down at that moment.. but i chose to act brave... i felt really stupid... so i laughed somemore to cover it up... it was a night of great regret... i have just let the world know that this Timothy did not live up to his name, and instead of honouring God, he chose to give in to alcohol and ended up losing his credibility as a witness for Christ... what have i done...?


it was 6 am the next day. i woke up... the words still ringing in my mind. your life has been paid for. that's when i realised... it's time to stop messing my life around. it's time to move on and trust in Him to release me from alcoholism... thanks Daniel... i believed God has sent you into my life... to remind me not to mess my life around ... thanks for being a true friend when others seem to forsake me... thanks for carrying me back to my tent and being my helper... ur servitude really made me humbled. i am not really a christian if i have to live by your standards... but i will try. thanks daniel for your encouragement. you didn't condemn me even though you can choose to (after all chastening happens in the house of God). You told me it was ok... i will trust in Jesus and live my life from the fullest from now on. Thank you buddy.

timothy.
Posted by Timo-mo at 7:45 PM